Behavioral Problems with My Son... The Verdict

Ok, it's only been a day since I poured out a small fraction of the frustrations and concerns I have regarding my son and his delays, emotional troubles and behavior related complications. Yet, here I am back again to tell you all that I know in my heart and in my head, that I can't send him to public school. Just can't do it.

Last night my husband and I talked about the situation and decided to change our approach to things, mostly concerning our expectations for him. Maybe... just maybe, our expectations are too high. Maybe he feels like he's a disappointment. It breaks my heart to think that could be, but I know it could be... and that's enough to inspire radical changes in how were managing every aspect of our relationship with him.

My dh pointed out last night that his sister who is 17 months younger excels at most of what she does. She's technically not old enough for kindergarten until this fall and yet usually does better at first grade assignments than he does. I hadn't thought about how this might be affecting his self-confidence, but dang... it probably has been quite a blow. The only thing he has that she doesn't is reading and wouldn't you know it, that's his favorite thing to do? I mean, even more than playing with toys or playing games on the computer. He loves to read. It's the one thing he has and while it's going to be a short-lived situation as his little sister isn't far behind him, the realization that there's something to this need to own a skill, a talent, or an interest is huge. It gives me reason to look for something else that he can call all his own. Something that can just be his, something that can just be hers. It's time to get creative.

Our kids are sort of reminding me of Alex and Malory on Family Ties. Those of you old enough to remember what I'm talking about. One child considered exceptional, the other not so much. What do you do? You change your focus to insure that what your child recognizes as exceptional isn't limited to how well they do in math or geography. I just want my kids to feel good about who they are and to have the confidence to try... to try whatever it might be without feeling like the mountain is too steep for them. I've seen first hand what that kind of low self-esteem does to a child and thank God we're recognizing early that this might be a part of the puzzle.

I know there are other things going on and we'll just have to keep picking apart the layers that are our son. Gently of course.

I want to mention too that if you knew my little guy you'd call him exceptional too... it's a different kind of genius. One that people do notice, but that other children don't exactly appreciate and want to be around. He's different. He just is. They way he talks, walks, his habits, his emotions, his thought process, but boy is he smart. When he takes interest in something he runs with it and I'm praying it's that kind of passion that brings him happiness in life.

Ok, more later! My son and dh are out fishing and if you only knew how weird that is. I don't know if my dh has ever fished a day in his life, but it's what our son wanted to do, so he took him! Isn't that cool? Meanwhile my daughter is wanting to make muffins with mommy, so I've got some important work to do. ; )

~Wendy