The Socialization Issue in Homeschooling

The Socialization Issue

by: Natasha  Wunderlich

When I tell people I am homeschooling my children the thing most people respond with is, “But what about socialization?”

This is the question every homeschooling parent gets asked a lot. It is also the question that homeschooling parents get tired of answering. However, it is important that we, as a homeschool community, know how to answer this question and how to address worries about the issue.

My short answer is this, “My son goes to activities and has friends and spends more time out of the house than in it. He’s doing fine socially.” This answer lets people
know that I take the issue seriously, because I do, and lets them know that I am aware they are concerned. Some parents tend to treat these questions as unimportant and give an equally unsatisfactory answer. However, if you treat people’s questions about homeschooling, especially about homeschooling and socialization, with a lack of concern, then you are simply playing into their stereotypes of homeschooling. Instead, by giving an answer that is short, sweet, and to the point, I make sure they know that not all homeschoolers are like their stereotype.

My long answer goes like this: In no other place in their life will a person be asked to sit for about 8 hours a day with people only the same age they are, in a single room, and do repetitive tasks like they are asked to do in a traditional school setting. Traditional school settings have their roots in our societal history when we, as a society, were moving from agriculture to manufacturing and we needed good workers. I don’t want that type of socialization. I don’t want the bullying that goes on, even in the best schools and districts. I don’t want the type of socialization where what you wear matters and how fast you run determines what you can play at recess. This is the type of socialization that schools have.

My son meets friends in the neighborhood, at church activities, at the classes he takes, and at the gym. We go out to places where kids are – like museums and indoor playgrounds – and he interacts just fine with other children. When people stop us to talk at the store, he can interact with them. He knows how to say please and thank you. He knows how to take direction from adults because of gymnastics classes and church activities and spending time at friends’ houses.

These are the goals of socialization; to have children function in society so they can grow into adults.  How this is taught should be less important than the fact that children learn to interact. If my child grows up with 4 close friends instead of 20 classmates from the same school, why is that better or worse?

Socialization really isn’t an issue for homeschoolers – at least not the way that non-homeschoolers think it is. We simply look at the issue differently and take a different approach to the whole process. 

Natasha Wunderlich 

I’m a homeschooling mom who made the choice to homeschool because I saw how rigid schools were and noticed how fluid my son’s learning style was and how hands-on his learning style was. We have been at it for over 2 years now (we started when he was 2) and are enjoying our time together. Learning and teaching has brought us closer together as a family. I do believe in structure and lessons, not simply free form schooling, but those lessons are child-centered and directed by his interested. We are moving on through Kindergarten and 1st Grade material now, and watching him learn and grow is awesome. You can find me on: www.wunderfulhomeschool.wordpress.com 

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