Setting a Date to Bring My Son Back Home Again

We started out homeschooling our now 9 year old son, but after a couple years we came to realize it just wasn't working. The Asperger's and high anxiety diagnosis were making him far from the ideal student and left me in a state of despair. I literally felt ill.

He's been in a wonderful brick and mortar school for almost 2 full years now... has made great friends and has come a long way both socially and academically. His current struggles are still very real and serious... he is currently dealing with rage, which is very scary. We have him in therapy and have been trying to work through his anxiety and anger, which by the way is very typical for children with Asperger's Syndrome. He doesn't see the world the same way we do and gets very frustrated with us. Additionally he has sensory issues... and is very overwhelmed by the world around him.  Fortunately he keeps it together during school, but he melts when we bring him home.

In the past couple weeks, I've ordered him a variety of products designed for kids on the Autism Spectrum. We have a compression vest to help him feel his place in space... which might sound odd, but it's supposed to help him relax. I also have a weighted blanket on order from a wonderful organization who makes them free of charge for kids on the spectrum and a bed sheet type of thing (which I have paid for) that slides over a mattress, is made of some sort of stretch material, allowing kids to feel hugged in bed. They can also kick and stretch the material from under the sheet, which is supposed to help them unwind. There's something about being weighted down that helps these kiddos relax.

So... what about homeschooling? I'm seriously thinking that bringing him home again at the start of 6th grade, when his classmates will begin middle school is the absolute right time to bring him back home. I feel it in my gut, my heart, and my tired mommy brain. I'd then leave his little sister in the brick and mortar school until she reaches middle school... at which time I'd bring her home too. That would give me a couple years working 1 on 1 with just my son. By that point I'm praying we'll have his rage under control. Currently he's in the 4th grade, so that gives me a year and a half to prepare.

We have an appointment with a child psychiatrist in a couple weeks so we can try anti-anxiety meds, something we were opposed to until very recently. When you see your 9 year old come after his little sister with a sharp pencil (or whatever else he can find) threatening to stab her, hear him threaten to hurt himself, and find yourself holding him down so he doesn't make good on those threats (oh, is he strong), you do what you have to do. :( Additionally, the quality of our family time is sad. We spend most of our time together dealing with our son, trying to help him, having him physically and verbally attack us, and trying to keep our cool. It's really challenging. It's honestly like having a colicky baby who can also jump, run, and talk. Very loud, very intense and it's unrelenting. Sigh. Prayers?