Is School Supposed to be Painful?

I ask myself this everyday that I spend schooling my 7 year old son. He's been diagnosed by a Child Psychiatrist with Asperger's... or having some Asperger's symptoms with the possibility of more pure Autistic qualities. Schooling my son has turned into a battle and I feel like I'm losing. Either that, or I'm just too tired to continue.

I've made up my mind to send him to school in January. Temporarily, but he will be going. Unless my husband steps in and gives me a really good argument against sending him there, that's where he'll be. My reasons might seem selfish, but I'm not feeling healthy either mentally or physically. I can't be a good mom if I'm in this state. I actually started taking anti-anxiety medication a few months ago to ward off a new onset of panic attacks that I attribute to the stresses of homeschooling a special needs child. So, I might be a wimp, but I just can't do it. I've found peace with the decision and God has blessed me with many good friends with special needs kids who do well at school. We're fortunate to live in one of the better school districts in the nation. In fact, just a school district away is #2 in the nation for their autistic programs. Would you believe we started looking at houses in that area before I even knew this? God is guiding us to a better way!

So, here's my plan... I'm sending my kids to school in January and will keep them there for a couple years. My son needs all sorts of therapy that he can receive for free at the school. My daughter has confided in me a number of times (lost count) that she desperately wants to go to school. I don't think she'd be so desperate if we'd had transportation and been able to join other homeschooling activities outside the home, but she's wanting to make friends and we haven't had the best opportunity to do this from home. She's very social... at least compared to the rest of the family she is! So... her prayers are going to be answered too.

In a couple years I'll bring them back home and we'll give it another go. By that time I should have wheels during the day and they will have established friendships in the neighborhood that we can continue to develop. My son will have had a couple years of therapy (speech, occupational, etc.) and we should be in a better place. If not, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

As for this blog, I plan on keeping it going. I'll still be researching homeschooling, finding great giveaways, sharing my thoughts on homeschooling headlines, and keeping you all in the know on the latest events in our schooling adventures. If you're curious about how our transition goes, stay tuned. We've never done public school before. I don't even know what to expect, but I do know it will be a huge change of pace for us. Our schedules will change drastically and our son will play the guinea pig in a way. This will be an experiment and one I'm praying will produce positive results. I know I liked school at his age and I'm praying he will too!

This obviously wasn't where I wanted our story to go. I still believe homeschooling is the better way, but special circumstances have pushed me a different direction. The emotional outbursts and the deterioration of my relationship with my son are just too much. I feel like it's more important that we remain close than it is where he goes to school. Praying!