A Positive Look at Homeschooling Stress

Why Stress Isn't All Bad

Although I’ve not heard other arguments to support my theory, I’m convinced that certain types of stress have a valuable place in our lives and may in fact provide just the motivation needed to better a condition or circumstance. I’m specifically speaking of situational stress, rather than that which may be confined to brain chemistry, so if you’re usually pretty comfortable with life, this article pertains to you.

Here’s something to think about…. if we were all 100% content with everything that we were doing or in the world around us, we’d never produce anything new, we’d never improve on anything, we’d make no new discoveries, we’d not challenge ways of thinking, and we’d never see advancements. What kind of world would that be?

Stress often gets us moving, and moving is a positive isn’t it? Sometimes that proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back is just the thing we need to put our fist down, to get back on our feet, or to speak up when things aren’t as our heart tells us they should be. In fact, stress or dissatisfaction might be what brought you to the decision to homeschool in the first place. If you’re a new homeschooler and you’re finding yourself dealing with the heebie-jeebies, realize it’s normal, and in fact can be healthy so long as you manage it well. Best of all, the stress you feel today, will be the victory you’re celebrating tomorrow.

What does homeschooling stress look like? The stress and anxiety that find their way into a homeschooling environment come largely from two sources… the most obvious stemming from confidence issues with the parent, but the less obvious and oh so real source comes from external sources, like from the doubting words and concerns of family and friends. Well meaning people like to plant little seeds of doubt and uncertainty into our minds… probably because they don’t understand how doable and effective educating our kids from home can be, yes… even without a teaching degree.

Fortunately, these two sources of stress usually diminish over time. Every year that a parent homeschools, they’ll do so with more confidence, less apprehension, and a greater degree of proficiency and sense of fulfillment. Once the parent finds a curriculum or teaching method that suits his child’s learning style, it’s just a matter of getting into that daily grind and keeping up the momentum.

Finding the right homeschooling system or structure is a trial and error proposal and it may take more experimentation than what was initially planned for, but when you’ve found that right fit and your child begins to flourish in this intimate home learning environment, what you’ll witness is all the motivation you’ll need to inspire you to continue. At that point, you’ll likely find new things to concern yourself with, that will consequently make your curriculum and way of educating even better.

As for dealing with family and friends who simply don’t understand, remember that homeschooling families are somewhat like pioneers… so there’s bound to be some amount of discomfort involved and a whole lot of resistance along the way, but being a pioneer is also incredibly exhilarating. You’ll have good days and bad… unspeakable highs and never before chartered lows. When you’re down people will say “maybe you should quit”, “I know I couldn’t do it”, and even those wonderful words of heart-felt support “I told you so”. When your kids are shining like the brightest stars in the galaxy, your critics won’t say a word. By the way… that silence is golden.

As you conquer one challenge after another, you’ll become somewhat of a homeschooling prize fighter, equipped with an exuberant new confidence and a prevailing sense of accomplishment. The memories of all the naysayer’s will actually bring a smile to your face and as you realize all that you and your children have accomplished together, all that joys you’ve shared, all the time you’ve shared, and no one will ever be able to steel that from you or make you wish you’d done things differently.

The third most common source of stress has to do with the student… your child. It’s the one stress I have the most experience in dealing with, the one that has nearly taken me down more times than I care to share. I’m convinced any public school would encourage me to medicate my son for symptoms of ADHD. Oh, the struggles we’ve had. He provides plenty of reasons for me to say enough already and send him out the front door to wait for the school bus, where he’d become someone else’s problem. Would that really alleviate my stress? If I sent my son to school, I’m fairly certain my stress would only intensify. The phone calls, the parent-teacher conferences, the homework at night, not to mention my guilt as I watched him fall behind… and all for what?

The stress I’ve encountered in this situation has motivated me in the following way. I’ve come back into the boxing ring of our living room classroom time and time again, ready to go another round, but with a new way of approaching the lesson. I spend more time researching learning styles and sorting through tools and resources that can be incorporated into our lessons, and less time worrying about who else is doing it that way. Less time worrying about trying to compare my son to another boy his age and more time exploring his interests with him and realizing how much further we can get with a tailor made lesson. Realizing that my son actually knows more about certain subjects than schooled kids years older than him. Yes, I’m a pioneer, I’m innovative, I’m productive, I’m moving forward all thanks to a little thing we like to call stress.

Let me finish by saying that while homeschooling is definitely not for everyone, those who are serious about wanting to experiment with the idea should never be persuaded against trying, simply because it might mean some amount of stress is involved. Isn’t there some degree of stress involved in anything concerning our children? Stress can be very motivating… especially when you’re running the show, whether you thought you were the leader type or not. For these reasons, I’d actually argue that for the homeschooling family in particular, stress is a positive.